Remember what happened to King David? He was watching Bathsheba taking a bath on a nearby rooftop and had to have her. He sent for her, then he slept with her. (Ref 2 Samuel 11)

Afterwards, he found out that she was the wife of Uriah the Hittite. So, David ordered his General to put Uriah into the thick of battle, and Uriah was killed.

This is an extreme version of a man giving into sexual temptation. Most of us don’t have the power that David had, but we are tempted none-the-less.

Recently, I have been led to believe that I want a new husband. That desire is really a delusion. What I really wanted was to have sex. Since sex is safe only in the marital bed, I thought I needed to be married.

Why would God let sex feel so good if we shouldn’t do it? We derive pleasure from the touch and sensations associated from the sexual encounter. So what’s wrong with that? It was a valid argument. The devil is so clever.

I have been arguing with God over this issue for over a year, thinking that I wanted a new husband. I went so far as to consider my ex-husband as a partner, to get remarried, but the thought of having sex with my ex sickens me. I dreamed last night of getting remarried. It was a disaster. I was miserable once again because the issues that caused our divorce remain. The kids didn’t even want to watch.

So, I’ve asked God to remove my desire to have sex. It is so freeing not to have to think about it, but that decision came after months of wrestling. It was not easy, but I am glad I made that choice. Sexual thoughts were a distraction. I feel constantly bombarded with sexual imagery that led me to think about that pleasure. However, my time thinking about sex leads made me forget about, or put off other responsibilities.

There is an additional benefit to asking God to remove the temptation for sex. If I ask God to remove the desire, He will if it is what He wants. However, if at some point in the future, I feel the desire for sex again, I will ask God to remove it again. If the desire does not go away, then I can feel confident that God is blessing that relationship and I should pursue it. I can look forward to and hope for that day, but for now, I am free.

Update: August 10, 2018 – The struggle with sexual desire did not go away altogether. Instead, it is a daily battle with temptation. However, the desire for a new husband has not gone away at all. In fact, that feeling is stronger than ever. I had almost given up hope when my co-worker share a story yesterday about her man. Her best friend told her that he is going to make her his better half. He said can only wait about 4 months to sleep with her, so it will happen pretty quickly.