Original Post from August 19, 2014 (2025 update below)
This is a blog for the hopeless. Have you reached a point in your relationship where you cannot see any earthly way possible that you could become happily married to your spouse? I have too.

In fact, I have felt that for almost 5 years and have been separated since 2011.  Although something happened about a month ago (July 2014).  I prayed for my husband to get a new job closer to us.  You see, we have been living 800 miles apart for 3 years. In that time, we have both signed divorce papers…twice.  So why are we not divorced? A month ago I prayed that God would lead my husband.

This is not a marriage that I ever want to be restored. I was miserable with him. Yet what if it were possible to have a different marriage? A dream marriage where both spouses work together to raise the children, and I did not have to live in fear of constantly being criticized. What if it were a marriage without lies and deceit; a marriage free from physical, verbal and mental abuse;  a marriage of support, mutual enjoyment, physical activity, an overall healthy lifestyle, and a marriage that is based on a foundation of faith, what then?

Am I willing to accept the biblical truth from Jeremiah 29:11? “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

If so, I need to change my thoughts, let go of my doubts and believe.  Dear God, I claim your truth for my life. I know that you want to prosper me and not to harm me. I know you have plans to give me hope and a future. I accept that there are circumstances that I are out of my control and I am asking for a miracle.  It will take a miracle to create the kind of marriage that would make me want to stay married to my spouse. I don’t know how you could ever fix this broken relationship, but if it is your will for me to stay married, I am asking in the name of your son, Jesus, please God, create a way to make it the marriage of my dreams. Amen

If you are in a similar situation, please email me or add a comment. I am happy to pray for you as we go through this journey together.

2025 update:

My husband and I finalized our divorced in November 2014, when he moved in with his girlfriend. In 2017, his girlfriend had dumped him and he had to move out of her apartment. I was still single, and felt lonely. I wondered why God had not allowed me to remarry or find love again. To be certain that door was closed, I felt compelled to give my ex another chance, despite the fact that he had not tried to seek my heart, or speak lovingly to me in the previous six years we had been apart. For the kids, I felt like I had to try. I met with him and asked him to go to church for four weeks. They were starting a new sermon series. He only went once and then told me, “you’re no princess.” He refused to go again and that was the end. He remarried in 2022.

I’ve gone on many first dates since 2017, a couple of second dates, but there has only been one man who got a third date and have since lost count. He is better than any man I’ve ever known. It’s been less than a year since we met, but I can honestly say he is my best friend. We are taking things slow, but I feel hopeful. I know he loves me and I love him. I cling to God’s promises in the Bible and wait patiently on the Lord.

If you need hope, here are some Bible verses that helped me remember what God’s has promised:

  • “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'” Genesis 2:18
  • “Take delight in the ME, and I will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
  • “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18
  • Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you. Psalm 55:22 
  • “When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.” Psalm 86:7
  • “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3 
  • “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22
  • “When you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:17-18
  • “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 
  • “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:22
  • “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24
  • “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.” John 15:7 
  • “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Luke 11:9 
  • “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. John 14:13
  • “You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.” 2 Corinthians 9:11 
  • “We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28
  • “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
  • “Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.” James 4:8 
  • “This is the confidence that we have before Him: If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we already possess what we have asked of Him.” 1 John 14:15